We Are On The Same Team! - Marriage and the budget

Financial arguments are sited as the number one reason for divorce.  With the help of Dave Ramsey, I want to give you three quick tips to get you and your spouse on the same team and rowing in the same direction when it comes to spending, saving, and debt.

1. You need to see yourselves as one unit - You cannot just ignore the financial issues by setting up separate checking accounts and hope that the problems go away.  If you can see yourselves as one and on the same team, it will help eliminate competition and resentment toward each other in the area of finances.
2. Get on a budget - I know at least one of you in the relationship thinks "budget" is a bad word, but it is the only thing that will reduce the friction and give you peace of mind.  Budgets are just telling your money where to go instead of wondering where it went.  It does not mean that you can no longer buy things for yourself, it just means that you planned for it at the beginning of the month.  For more help on getting a budget started, check out my blog post Budget Basics: Taking the pain out of budgeting.
3. Set up a monthly meeting - At the beginning of  the month, sit down and decide on the budget.  One of you will prepare the rough draft.  Let the nerd in the relationship handle this, and if you are reading this blog, it's probably you!  Once the rough budget has been created, you have a meeting (no longer than 17 minutes) with your spouse and ask them to change at least one thing.  Both of you need to have a say in your spending otherwise one of you will feel like you are in prison.  The only stipulation is that the budget has to balance.  If your spouse wants to take $100 from groceries to spend on date night, let them.  If you use my budget basics, you will be on a cash system and can't overspend.

With those simple tools, you will hopefully start moving in the same direction.  Just know that there will still be friction and a lot of adjustments to the budget as you figure this out, but at least you will be working toward your goal of financial health.