The Giving Paradox: 5 Reasons Why Giving Benefits You

We have all heard that it is better to give than receive, but why is that?  Is there some magical reason that giving might allow us to receive more blessing?  How is it "What goes around, comes around"?

The reality is that systematic giving, such as tithing, can actually be a blessing to you.  Though we don't give in order to receive, giving is truly an investment, not only in this life but the next.  In Matthew 6:21, Jesus says, "Where your treasure is, there your heart will be also."  Perhaps there is something that happens in our hearts when we give that sets us up to perceive and receive God's blessing.

Here are five reasons why giving blesses us:

1. Giving takes the focus off ourselves - When we are so focused on ourselves that we are unyielding with the resources God entrusted to us, it affects the way we interact with others.  Others will pick up on our inward focus and be less likely to trust us.  This will affect our ability to create the needed connections in the marketplace that will help us succeed.
2. Giving feels good - When we spend money on ourselves, the euphoria does not last long and soon we are left with remorse over wasting money on something that didn't actually make a lasting difference.  If you used that same money on others, you will get the same euphoria, but are not left with remorse because you actually made a lasting contribution.  This affects your own self confidence because you feel good about the choices you are making, which in turn affects how you approach your career and are likely to use that confidence to take bold steps forward in life.
3. Giving draws us close to God - The initial step of deciding to give 10% of our income requires a lot of trust in God.  This step allows us to trust in Him rather than in our money, talents, or abilities.  We all trust people that we have close and intimate relationship with.  You can't have intimacy without trust, and I promise that trusting God will help develop your intimacy with God.
4. Giving creates opportunities - God promises that He will pour out blessing on us when we give and this is usually in the form of opportunities.  It's the sudden promotion, that new client, or the unexpected gift.  Look around you, givers tend to have more opportunities.  At a minimum, it will help you see the blessings in your life because you are not focused on yourself and your negative circumstances.  A few of God's promises regarding giving are found here: Malachi 3:10-11; Luke 6:38; Matthew 7:7-12
5. Giving develops contentment - A giver tends to be comfortable with their current stuff level.  Because you have taken the focus off yourself, you will begin to realize your significance, rely on God, see opportunities clearly, and be less likely to try and seek significance in the accumulation of things.  You'll know that the high of the next purchase cannot compare with that of giving, and you will no longer try to impress your friends and neighbors because it doesn't compare with the intimacy you now have with God. Besides, when you aren't spending everything you make, you are able to invest it and build wealth for the future. 

God has blessed my family in all five ways listed above.  There are many more reasons why giving is a great benefit to yourself and others, but hopefully these five are enough to get you excited about tapping into your generosity potential.  Please remember that the true reason to give is not to bless ourselves, but to bless others.  The giving paradox is that when we give expecting nothing in return, we often receive a great blessing.

If you want to be generous, you will need a plan.  Check out my post about budgeting and debt to really maximize your giving potential!

We Are On The Same Team! - Marriage and the budget

Financial arguments are sited as the number one reason for divorce.  With the help of Dave Ramsey, I want to give you three quick tips to get you and your spouse on the same team and rowing in the same direction when it comes to spending, saving, and debt.

1. You need to see yourselves as one unit - You cannot just ignore the financial issues by setting up separate checking accounts and hope that the problems go away.  If you can see yourselves as one and on the same team, it will help eliminate competition and resentment toward each other in the area of finances.
2. Get on a budget - I know at least one of you in the relationship thinks "budget" is a bad word, but it is the only thing that will reduce the friction and give you peace of mind.  Budgets are just telling your money where to go instead of wondering where it went.  It does not mean that you can no longer buy things for yourself, it just means that you planned for it at the beginning of the month.  For more help on getting a budget started, check out my blog post Budget Basics: Taking the pain out of budgeting.
3. Set up a monthly meeting - At the beginning of  the month, sit down and decide on the budget.  One of you will prepare the rough draft.  Let the nerd in the relationship handle this, and if you are reading this blog, it's probably you!  Once the rough budget has been created, you have a meeting (no longer than 17 minutes) with your spouse and ask them to change at least one thing.  Both of you need to have a say in your spending otherwise one of you will feel like you are in prison.  The only stipulation is that the budget has to balance.  If your spouse wants to take $100 from groceries to spend on date night, let them.  If you use my budget basics, you will be on a cash system and can't overspend.

With those simple tools, you will hopefully start moving in the same direction.  Just know that there will still be friction and a lot of adjustments to the budget as you figure this out, but at least you will be working toward your goal of financial health.